A Post That Was Never Posted ~ "Summer is gone...…"

This was never sent to publish last year.  It is dated September 10, 2013…..

Or is it?  I "start" after Labor Day each year so we can enjoy the waning days of summer.  This year, though, summer has come with a vengeance in the fall.  It is in the upper 90's here and the kids who should be in school are out since the grade schools around here do not have air conditioning.  So it has been a slow start to our year.  We have also had unexpected occurrences and serious challenges to deal with.  Life sometimes throws you curve after curve after curve.......

I have been trying to focus on income generation this summer (really this past year), so I have been a bit distracted with that.  We have pressing financial challenges that are coming to a head and that has to be the priority.  I have officially started a website with a hosting company and all and that has been a tremendous learning curve. I feel that I have again missed out on so many things.  So here we are, in the second week of September and I have not accomplished near want I have wanted to or need to.

So another year went by without a post or uppdate.  Or summer recap this year is not even as good as last year.  Though I will review last years recap and give our progress on those issues....

• Learn to swim

Really amazed at how well he has learned to swim!  He's continued to swim at the neighbor's pool, but not very regularly (but more regularly than last year) and the progress he has made!  We went to my sister's area club once this summer and I didn't have a suit so I stayed along the shoreline and watched, to my amazement, how he went beyond the ropes, dove up and down underwater with goggles and his cousin to see what they could find under there, AND swam to the raft where he jumped and swam, jumped and swam.  Thankfully, my sister can swim well and was out there with them or I may not have let him, not realizing how well he does swim and the fact that I was at the shore.  My sister swims much better than me ~ I really don't ~ though I know I could save him if I had to.  After this summer, I think he could save ME if he had to.......

• Harvest abundantly from our garden

The garden has been a complete bust.  OK, well not a complete bust.  We got blackberries before the birds did, cayenne peppers (before the bunnies chopped it down like they did the other two varieties of peppers before we could harvest them), lemon cucumbers, a few regular cucumbers, peppermint and a few strawberries.  I have some chamomile growing out of my patio (yes, out of my patio, between the paver bricks ~ yikes!) that I am harvesting for tea.  I might get 5 or 6 cups out of it once it is all done.  I have rosemary, parsley, oregano, basil (most of which bolted before I harvested), thyme, sage and Egyptian walking onion (which looks like it has died walking, but it doesn't fool me......nothing can kill that stuff).  I didn't water very well this year.  And if you count my yard as a garden, then BOY did I have a bust.  My yard is all weeds.  And with the heat, I didn't mow for a while (in addition to the garage door being broken forever so I can't get the mower out and I was tired of borrowing the neighbor's) so some of the weeds got really big.  Let's just say that that is against the city ordinance and the fastidious lawn person across the street who lost his job in January and has nothing better to do than walk around his yard fixing every blade that is out of place was none too happy about my little meadow going on over here.  He called the city on me (nice.....didn't even talk to me about it, but that's a whole 'nutha story).  So I found some new and true friends that came and not only helped me pull the weeds but trimmed all the bushes and trees for me.  

So I didn't meet last year's goal of getting closer to being self sustainable with my garden.  Not even close.  I know how to do it, how to plan it and harvest and preserve it, but with everything else going on, I was not able to follow through with it.  Partly financial and partly the stress of everything else weighing me down.  But I will not be kept down......

• Rehabilitate our dogs completely
• Ideally, to have Cesar come and visit us to help us with this task!

Some strides, not much.  With everything going on, I am starting to look at rehoming these boys.  Ideally, I'd love to find someone willing to "foster" them for around 6 months until I can get things situated and move forward with tenacity.

• Catch up on lessons from a really tough year (OK, a really tough couple of years......)

STILL catching up.  But worth it.  There is no sense in pushing things too hard or trying to meet someone else's standard when it just doesn't fit your situation.  And I just got the solution to the awesome learning room we have, but now will probably not be able to use it since there are probably major transitions we need to make this fall.  We are starting a new learning year ~ we always start after Labor Day ~ and it is not helping that the kids around here seem to be out of school more than in since Labor Day.  They had an extra day off last week (go figure ~ right at the beginning of the year)  And they have had 2 off this week already since there is no air conditioning in most of the grade schools and we are having a heat wave.  The one we never had this summer......

So all in all, we are still catching up.  But moving through the transitions we have has created a lot of stress and sometimes you just have to manage the stress as best as you can until you can change that stressor.  And that is where our energy has been.  

• Declutter and bless others with our extras

Some progress.  And that is all I can say.  Still too much clutter.

• Play tennis

Didn't get to do it.  Again.  Though Austin is not as interested as I am.  I enjoy tennis.

• Enjoy the summer

I must say I think I just got through my summer.  I can't believe it is over (again).  It is not that I was rushing here and there to do everything.  I wasn't.  I didn't spend time on my patio until this morning and THAT, folks, was pure bliss.  Hummingbirds and all.  Before the heat of the day set in.  And before little people (one not-so-little person) were up.  Bliss for the moment....

My personal goals for the summer include:

• Being able to generate a full time income from home so we can continue to homeschool
• To book classes for the fall
• To get speaking engagements
• To finish my writing projects
• To create meditation audios
• To start online video classes
• To keep my blogs updated and useful for the people who use them

Oh, how much would life be easier if I had income rolling in.......

I did some things this summer, but my adrenal exhaustion set back in.  I thought I was healed fairly well, but when I did the AutismOne Culinary Day at the conference, I had a bad sleep period and much stress.  That REALLY threw my system out of balance.  I've been fighting fatigue and exhaustion all summer.  All the while while looking fine and dandy.  No one cares if I am tired and I just bring myself down if I let it show.  Though it knocked me out.  Not much patience with the little things and the stress pushed me to not be the loving, caring, compassionate mama that I know I am.  

I did some things this summer to move forward, but not enough and not fast enough.  And my exhaustion and overwhelm led me to miss something critically important about the house ~ at least I am assuming I missed.  I have a free consult with a lawyer on Friday to find out my options, which I think are very limited at this point.  It is going to auction next week and life lessions are really kicking in, for mama.

I stillneed to carve a steady rhythm out.  It has been hard this summer.  I have been getting us dinner late and to bed even later.  This is not good for my adrenals, nor my son's.  I see him being exhausted and tired.  His allergies kicked in something fierce and his eyes swelled so badly that I thought about putting him on medicine (hippie mama nurse uses that as the last ~ as in the end of the world ~ resort).   We also got very sick earlier this year in April (at the same time no less) so I know our immune systems are not up to snuff.  So we are on the GAPS diet and this is the first year since 1991 that I can breathe in hayfever season.  Not kidding.  No rapid fire, blow a hole in the wall sneezes that leave me out of breath and eyes watering.  And Austin's eyes have not swelled up again.  Hard and we have had our relapses, but so worth it.  

I have started a "real" website after practicing on weebly last year and got a reasonable host and am trying to figure this whole thing out.  I have one page cut and pasted and all the links go back to my weebly sites and a blogspot site.  It is a start.  I'm freelance writing (not getting paid enough) and babysitting now and then.  I am working on my paid services and books/CDs and videos and hope to have some kind of income by October.  A little too little a little too late for the old homestead, though.  Unless God decides that the miracle in this situation is to keep the home.  We shall see.  In the meantime, I am working on our health and trying to cultivate that peace that we all need and is so critical to health.  

• To be able to keep our home (long story)

Part of the story is above.  More at a later date.  Hopefully good news.  

• Mercilessly declutter
• Especially the paperwork

Slacking in that arena.  Much still left to do, but I have some frameworks to use.  Need to get a better grasp on how my updated technology can help me without taking over my day or tempting my son to use media by always having this in front of him.  Not much has changed, so I didn't even change the wording from last year.  

• To get back some semblance of a routine so I can create balance in our home and so I can feel well again

Struggling, as I said, with the rhythm.  I feel that this is key and that once I have my rhythm down pat, things will move forward more effortlessly.  Not without work, but smoothly and able to handle the sidetracks the inevitably crop up.  Rest is crucial.  Which is why I need to finish typing this and get to bed!  It is 9pm and we aren't even upstairs yet. 

• To have fun every day with my boy

Need to do more on that front!  I am putting that ahead of all else.  Well, it slipped back again.  We are scheduling fun and laughter now.  

• To plan our learning year ahead

I have most of it planned.  Need support to get supplies and books that are included.  It is nice to use the library books, and we use the library liberally (at times, I think I own part of it!), but Austin loves reading certain books and series that to have them would be a blessing.  Working on a fundraising website for family to use if they choose.  Schools do it and you get cheap candy full of chemicals and pay an arm and a leg for it.  And they already have our tax dollars as funding.  

• To move forward with the personal difficulties I have had 

Moving forward too slowly, but going in the right direction.  I need a lawyer and am still working on the finances (nothing has changed except that I need a lawyer NOW!).  Things keep happening, like bill collectors, things breaking, etc.  I seriously need to move more quickly.  I've chosen who I need to help me, but, as I said, it is the finances that I need.  It's not much in the scheme of things; it's very reasonable, but I'm still struggling nonethelesss.  

Sounds daunting.  But it needs to be done.  Failure is not an option here.  Life lessons going on.  Especially for the mama.......

And as I said, failure is NOT an option here.  Need the progress to move faster.  And, as I said last year, it is daunting, but life just is, isn't it?  It's nothing to fear or dread or tolerate, it is something to embrace and find joy and learning in the challenges.  Life lessons going on here.  God is good.  And I am stronger than I ever thought I'd have to be.  Now I am being tested to the max.  Blessings to all on your own journeys and challenges!

Summer Recap

We had an ambitious list of goals this summer and I will review each of them in terms of accomplishment......

• Learn to swim 

This was a goal for Austin and he is much more comfortable in the water.  Swimming on his own power, as a matter of fact.  I had ambitions to get him lessons at a local facility that has a salt water pool, but he and a neighbor boy with a pool became better friends this year and his sporadic trips to this boy's house when they were playing in the water increased his confidence and comfort in the water.  So proud of him that he accomplished that on his own!

• Harvest abundantly from our garden

Well, we have had success in our garden.  We fenced it off and that kept the little critters that voraciously eat my produce out (AKA ~ the bunnies).  We had some great successes (like the tomatillos that are almost ready to harvest) and some losses....the cauliflower that just didn't take and the broccoli that bolted to seed.  We enjoyed some super sweet kale, Austin's slicing tomatoes did well, our herbs were awesome (chamomile tea for the winter!!) and our cabbage and pumpkins are thriving.  Lots of peppermint for fresh tea (need to harvest for the winter) and the rosemary, sage, thyme, basil, marjoram, stevia, and oregano did well.  We had a feast for the birds with our anise hyssop.  We blessed some friends with milkweed, anise hyssop and Egyptian walking onion (which always does fantastic......you couldn't kill that plant if you tried).  I enjoyed the butterflies, birds and bees that often visited.  No monarchs this year, though.  The first year we have not had monarch caterpillars in the house, though we did harvest 13 eggs of a black swallowtail and enjoyed those.  I'll have to post on those later.  We kept a log of them and what a variation that nature has with those.....all were laid at the same time by the same butterfly.  Austin saw her and watched her as she laid and we brought them in.  

• Rehabilitate our dogs completely
• Ideally, to have Cesar come and visit us to help us with this task!

We have made great progress on this front, but still much to be desired.  Someone (a dog boy) urinated on the front of my stove.  Still can't trust them in the carpeted areas unsupervised, though they are better.  Tom needs a lot of physical activity that we can't give to him without a fence and without his cooperation on wheels (that is, one of us on a bicycle or roller blades).  And Jaxson has almost totally released his food aggression and outside the family people aggression/fear.  I am still thinking about a temporary home for them (separate ones) so we can move forward on some things and they could get the individual attention that they deserve.  That will be hard to find......

And Cesar Millan is not taking cases from America.  I know......I tried to contact him.....or his people.  Apparently he is in Europe helping to place previously unplaceable dogs with families in Italy, England and somewhere else.  He supposedly has a new facility in Spain and brings the families there to get training and a dog.  Something like that.  But if anyone knows Cesar or how to reach him, tell him to call me!!!  Still wishing for his help.

• Catch up on lessons from a really tough year (OK, a really tough couple of years......)

Still doing it.  Lack of support from key people in my boy's life are hindering him in the confidence area.  And the fact that his worth seems to be tied to various family members' approval of him and his "competence" significantly hinders things also.  But he has serious skills; he just needs to learn to apply them to all situations and that his worth is not tied to the performance of those skills.  I think the life lessons are so much more important than the academic lessons.  It is relatively easy to learn academic skills that are missed than it is to learn to craft a meaningful adult life when that was not integrated into your youthful life.  And I strongly feel that a child's life is meaningful.  We don't wait until we "grow up" to have a meaningful life.  We are all important and make a difference in this world.  Our spheres of influence are just different at different stages.

• Declutter and bless others with our extras

Some progress.  I wish I could bless others straightaway, but I've been having garage sales to augment the cash flow in the household.

• Play tennis

Didn't get to do it.

• Enjoy the summer

I must say I really enjoyed my summer.  I can't believe it is over.  It is not that I was rushing here and there to do everything.  I wasn't.  I took time to smell the roses (literally and figuratively).  I spent many a morning on the patio in the wee hours watching the sunrise and doing yoga.  Bliss for the moment....

My personal goals for the summer include:

• Being able to generate a full time income from home so we can continue to homeschool
• To book classes for the fall
• To get speaking engagements
• To finish my writing projects
• To create meditation audios
• To start online video classes
• To keep my blogs updated and useful for the people who use them

Oh, how much would life be easier if I had income rolling in.......

I did things this summer to move forward, but it is not enough.  I need to carve a steady rhythm out and not care what anyone else thinks so I can purposefully move forward and be able to steadily work on my plan and evaluate and revise it.  It is not easy raising a child by yourself with an insufficient support system, so I do need to cut myself some slack.  And once the threat of losing the house is gone (whether we are gone from here or I can work something out) and I am not living in limbo as I have for too many years to admit right here and right now, my mind will be clearer and I will be able to move forward without always being sidetracked.

• To be able to keep our home (long story)

Part of the story is above.  More at a later date.  

• Mercilessly declutter
• Especially the paperwork

Slacking in that arena.  Much still left to do, but I have some frameworks to use.  Need to get a better grasp on how my updated technology can help me without taking over my day or tempting my son to use media by always having this in front of him. 

• To get back some semblance of a routine so I can create balance in our home and so I can feel well again

Struggling, as I said, with the rhythm.  I feel that this is key and that once I have my rhythm down pat, things will move forward more effortlessly.  Not without work, but smoothly and able to handle the sidetracks the inevitably crop up.  

• To have fun every day with my boy

Need to do more on that front!  I am putting that ahead of all else.

• To plan our learning year ahead

I have most of it planned.  Need support to get supplies and books that are included.  It is nice to use the library books, and we use the library liberally (at times, I think I own part of it!), but Austin loves reading certain books and series that to have them would be a blessing.  

• To move forward with the personal difficulties I have had 

Moving forward too slowly, but going in the right direction.  I need a lawyer and am still working on the finances.  Things keep happening, like my brakes going out.  I tried to fix them myself, but the pins were so rusted in that I couldn't get them out even with a neighbor's help.  So the waiting continues.  Moving forward is healthy and I seriously need to move more quickly.  I've chosen who I need to help me, but, as I said, it is the finances that I need.  It's not much in the scheme of things; it's very reasonable, but I'm still struggling nonethelesss.  

Sounds daunting.  But it needs to be done.  Failure is not an option here.  Life lessons going on.  Especially for the mama.......

And as I said, failure is NOT an option here.  Just wish the progress was moving faster.  And it is daunting, but life just is, isn't it?  It's nothing to fear or dread or tolerate, it is something to embrace and find joy and learning in the challenges.  Life lessons going on here.  God is good.  And I am stronger than I ever thought I'd have to be.  Blessings to all on your own journeys and challenges!

Summer Goals

We have some goals this summer.  Learning goals and life goals.  Some of the things we want to do this summer are:

• Learn to swim
• Harvest abundantly from our garden
• Rehabilitate our dogs completely
• Ideally, to have Cesar come and visit us to help us with this task!
• Catch up on lessons from a really tough year (OK, a really tough couple of years......)
• Declutter and bless others with our extras
• Play tennis
• Enjoy the summer

My personal goals for the summer include:

• Being able to generate a full time income from home so we can continue to homeschool
• To book classes for the fall
• To get speaking engagements
• To finish my writing projects
• To create meditation audios
• To start online video classes
• To keep my blogs updated and useful for the people who use them
• To be able to keep our home (long story)
• Mercilessly declutter
• Especially the paperwork
• To get back some semblance of a routine so I can create balance in our home and so I can feel well again
• To have fun every day with my boy
• To plan our learning year ahead
• To move forward with the personal difficulties I have had 

Sounds daunting.  But it needs to be done.  Failure is not an option here.  Life lessons going on.  Especially for the mama.......

A day of confidence, curiosity and compassion

Here is an entry that I found from last year, circa April 2011, age 9......getting back in to the swing.  Even old stuff is good.  New stuff to come, though.

I have my plan. I have my philosophy. And that steers this ship we're on. But life guides, too. Take Friday, for example. I wrote this on Saturday (the old fashioned way, with pencil and paper), but have only gotten around to document it today. {and only around to posting it TODAY, over 1 year late!!}

A few years ago~~oh wait, make that about 5 years ago, he's NINE now! When did that happen?? Oh yeah, just a few weeks ago. OK, over half his life ago, my sweet boy (don't tell him I said that, either....he's getting big) shook at the thought of seeing a cute little bunny felled at the hands of a hawk. One morning in spring (still 5 years ago), he had looked out his bedroom window down at the patio, called me and trembled as he said, "Mama, is that a hawk feather?".  He was really saying, "Mama, is that a dead bunny a few feet above that hawk feather?".   I responded, "Oh, yes, now let's go play before breakfast".  Well, daddy was around that day and, though unwilling to arise to remove the little bunny, allowed me to divert Austin's attention to him while I donned some vinyl gloves, grabbed a plastic bag and removed the little critter before my little critter could sneak back to the window in a mixture of dread and curiosity. Knowing my son well, I knew that scene would play out in his mind over and over again. We talked a bit about it later and I shared the feather with him, but he did not want to talk very much about it.  And I did not want it to play out in his head over and over, so I took his cue and left the issue alone.

Fast forward back to yesterday....he spotted a hawk on our neighbor's deck patiently waiting for his lunch to emerge from the underneath the deck where the rabbits live and come out to either eat my garden or torment my dogs. We had seen the hawk a few minutes earlier sail past the upstairs bedroom window, swooping slowly between our houses, majestically slow and searching. If only the screen wasn't there, we could have touched it. Seeing it on the neighbor's deck, Austin went out and very stealthily stalked the creature to capture a better look at it, inadvertently frightening it to the top of the neighbor's house, far enough for it to get away from the curious boy, but close enough to continue to spy it's prey.

A short time later, Tom (dog #1) had alerted Austin to the fact that something was tormenting him in the back yard. Austin called me over and lo and behold! The hawk was eating his lunch a few feet off our neighbor's deck. My boy grabbed his binoculars (thanks for the birthday gift Auntie Cindy!) and headed out the front to again stealthily sneak up on the hawk for a better look.   I followed with the camera (and to monitor this situation) and watched as he crawled up on his belly, Steve Irwin style, to spy a closer look. He was checking it out with the binoculars.  This is the last picture I got and my battery died.  Ugh!  I never did get the picture of Austin up close.  See the look on the hawk's face?  He's looking right at Austin.  And he got a mere few feet away from the raptor and his lunchtime snack.  The hawk tried to fly away with his tasty morsel and dropped it a few feet away.  A while later, I was at the kitchen sink and saw a HUGE black raptor sitting on the fence checking out the snack that was left there.  I called Austin, who was thrilled at the wild kingdom playing out in the back yard.  As I frantically attempted to start charging the crazy camera batter (why I hadn't done it right when I came in is a mystery) in hopes that a few minutes of charge would let me snap some pictures.  Austin retrieved his bird book, the Sibley Bird Guide, and began looking at the raptors to ID this creature.  In the meantime, something  may have frightened the creature and he abandoned his bunny watch and could be seen circling high up in the sky.  So the bunny remains stayed there until it was removed from the premises by the humans.

So the hawk story ended.  We have had a bit of fun watching these beautiful birds and really enjoy seeing SOAR Illinois and their birds.  I have a picture trapped on my broken external hard drive of Austin at 3 years old looking face to face at Deshka, the bald eagle with SOAR at the Green Earth Institute Festival they hold every year in the spring.  I hope I can recover it someday.  I no longer see SOAR at the Green Earth festival, but we still see them at the PowWow at Naper Settlement every year.  And Deshka is still around.

Austin was later distracted by our 5 year old neighbor, whom he feels very protective of, and I let him play a while before lunch ~ backyard fun and shooting hoops.  After lunch, we went over our new daily chalkboard poem, which we just started doing since we recently made our own chalkboards.  After this, we had a 13 year homeschool friend come over to spend some quality time with Austin while I got a few things done.  This was a new occurrence for us.  So Austin got some quality "big brother" time in.

When that was over and we reviewed our goals, ran to the store for last minute ingredients for our Friday lenten meal, finished dinner, and Austin heard our neighbor's 14 year old dog yelping in the cold rain.  I left a message there, finished the load of laundry and then headed over there with Austin who wanted find out what was wrong.  The sweet golden retriever had had a stroke prior to this and was not as nimble as she used to be.  She was cold and wet.  No one was home.  Austin comforted her and wanted to stay with her until someone got home.  He's got a big heart.  Those are the lessons that are priceless.  He got some towels and was drying her off as the mistress of the house returned.  She said that her older son must have forgotten to let her in before he left.  We were relieved that nothing bad had happened to anyone and that was why she was still outside ~ mere forgetfulness, not the forgetfulness that comes with emergencies.  They are such a caring family, they would never purposely leave their animal outside.

So all in all, what looked like an unaccomplished day to some, was a highly successful day here.

A day filled with nature......and a nature detective.....

A day of "big brotherly" compassion to a younger boy......

A day of being a "little brother" and bonding with a fine young man.....

A day of follow-up and researching.....

A day of compassion and wonder for all of God's creatures.....

A day of caring for a sick animal......

A day that started with reverence and respect.....and a day that ended with reverence and respect.

What an educational day!  

We lived.  We loved.  We laughed.  We cared.  We made a difference.  We learned.  

Life was our teacher.  

Love was the lesson.  

Sidetracked

It has been a long time since I posted on this site.  I had lovely intentions of continuing this weekly, if not more often.  But life seems to sidetrack us when we have out plans precisely laid out.  God sometimes has different ideas (maybe we haven't fully listened to His ideas first).  We've backslid quite a bit.  Lost a lot of ground.  And our lives have changed.  Radically.  There is much to be lost and much to be gained right now.  And the beauty of homeschooling is that educational needs do not trump emotional needs.  As long as my son is learning and enjoying it and moving forward, we can deviate from "the plan" to navigate life's waters.  I am a firm believer in keeping a plan, a rhythm, a routine.  It anchors your life and maybe if I could keep to "the master plan" then I could move faster.  But life keeps pushing me and causing me to deviate away from this plan.  So, I am re-evaluating the plan and will take what is right and leave the rest behind.  There is much that I have to do and move forward we must.  There is so much potential in this.  For both of us.  So move forward I will and post I will.

Welcome to our homeschooling journey!

Welcome! Or Benvenuto! We are learning Italian around here, so that is appropriate. I am a mom to a wonderful 9 year old boy and we are documenting our homeschooling journey for you to follow with us. As a matter of fact, Austin decided on the title immediately. No hesitation. He loves homeschooling, or home educating. As do I. Not that it is a picnic every day. Far from it. We have our struggles as does any family, whether homeschooling or not. But it is a joy to learn together. To learn from life. To learn from each other.

And the learning never ends. It really doesn't. I have a masters degree and taught for the last 10 years of my career and know that I have learned more from living life than I have from anything else. I've written scores of competency tests and standardized test questions and know that it is all a poor measure of the real thing.........

We don't just sit back and let life happen around us and just soak it all in. We live it and learn from it. We structure our days with a Waldorf style and a sprinkling of Charlotte Mason and Classical. When I get the hang of this blogging thing, I'll add our philosophy. OK, my philosophy. My philosophy on learning and education and how that is fostered in life. And the role of educational facilitator. I use this rather than teacher because of what I believe about learning and having an education for life. I give the structure in which learning occurs.

Live.
Love.
Laugh.
And you will Learn.

The world is the classroom.
Life is the teacher.
Love is the lesson.

This is how we will make a difference.

I hope you enjoy this journey with us. Buon Viaggio!